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Her First Communion Dress – Create Good Memories Even While Shopping


Her First Communion is a very special time and you are making memories to last a life time. Shopping for her First Communion dress and veil can be part of those wonderful memories. If it is approached properly it can be a bonding time for mother and daughter – and grandmother and/or godmother too.

But it can become a very stressful time if not approached carefully and thoughtfully.

One scenario we hear all the time is mother (or grandmother) saying to the young child:

Tell the lady what you want, honey.”

Those words are like charged dynamite. The child is put into a terrifying position trying desperately to figure out what it is that mother and/or grandmother expects them to pick. These children usually looks like a deer in the headlights with panic because they are actually hearing the true meaning of that statement, “Tell the lady what I expect you to pick.”

This almost never ends well and too frequently develops into tears of frustration as the child is told “No honey, that’s not the dress you want“. You can figure that sassy comments will follow . . . .

If grandmother is there, then the child is further torn to “what grandmother wants you to pick too.” To further complicate things, the visions of mother, grandmother and child may be very, very different.

This is a recipe not only for failure but also develops long-lasting bad memories. Tears of joy are desirable – tears of frustration are not and can be avoided.

When approaching shopping for her First Communion dress, keep in mind that she is a young child. She is making her First Communion – her first and only First Communion – and has never gone down this road before.

Maybe she’s a fashioniesta with definite ideas of what she likes and doesn’t like, but fashion sense is fickle even in older girls and she will need guidance. Maybe she doesn’t dress up a lot, is a tomboy and doesn’t really want to have to wear a dress, or perhaps she doesn’t have any preference at all. These can all represent challenges.

Regardless of the situation, this is an ideal time to help and guide her towards developing good taste and appropriate choices. It is a time to teach her to find flattering choices, to select a style appropriate to the occasion and how to weed out what might not be a great choice for her. It is a time of talking and learning together and a prime opportunity to discuss in depth the meaning of the day, the purpose of a white first communion dress and the need to look modest and appropriate.

Explain to her what you’d like to see, what absolutely must be part of her choice (for instance, are sleeves required?) and maybe you can come up with the perfect solution right away. Definitely ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t, but it is best to do with visuals in front of you.

Whether in the store or on line, discuss the positives and negatives of various choices. Get her feedback too, of course. Perhaps you will find that she has a definite preference for a particular type of style (you’ll have far more choices on line), which can help you select a dress that both of you will love.

If a group agreement cannot be reached, always keep in mind that this IS a child and parents not only supervise – they have the final say. You need to be sensitive and not pick something she absolutely hates, of course, but you may not be able to please her developing (and possibly questionable) sense of style entirely, either.

This can be a learning experience for both of you. It is a terrific opportunity for her to develop the skill of fashion selection for a specific occasion while at the same time you can spend time learning about what she thinks and likes in a more intimate way, all the while guiding her to make proper choices.

Your daughter’s First Communion day should be perfect and filled with warm, happy memories for both of you. These memories should include the preparation time such as shopping for her very special First Communion dress and veil.


Written by the First Communion Specialists staff at The Perfect Pear Children’s Special Occasion and Formal Wear Boutiques where you will find a vast selection of First Communion dresses, veils and suits for boys too at []

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